The best books to overcome codependency and childhood trauma

Why am I passionate about this?

My 30+ years as a psychotherapist and mental health educator with a strong focus on codependency has enabled me to create, produce and provide compelling and life-changing books and seminars. My own experiences recovering from codependency led to the creation of my ground-breaking Human Magnet Syndrome, Self-Love Recovery Treatment, and Codependency Cure contributions. It is understood through my work that codependency is a mere symptom of not loving oneself. Codependency is not what needs to be treated, rather the root cause needs to be addressed. Therefore, I have re-defined and re-conceptualized codependency into “Self-Love Deficit Disorder™ (SLDD)," which is a trauma, core shame, pathological loneliness, and addiction disorder.


I wrote...

The Human Magnet Syndrome: The Codependent Narcissist Trap

By Ross Rosenberg,

Book cover of The Human Magnet Syndrome: The Codependent Narcissist Trap

What is my book about?

The Human Magnet Syndrome: The Codependent Narcissist Trap completely rewrites what we know and understand about codependency and narcissism. The book explains why people are magnetically and irresistibly drawn together, not so much by what they see, feel, and think, but more by invisible unconscious relationship force. It explains relational “chemistry” and why its irresistibly alluring and seductive “love force” is impossible to avoid. Codependents and pathological narcissists simply cannot avoid HMS’s inevitable dysfunctional opposite match-up. What starts off as the codependent’s dream “soul mate” almost always transforms into their nightmare “cellmate.”

This book is available for purchase here.

Shepherd is reader supported. When you buy books, we may earn an affiliate commission.

The books I picked & why

Book cover of Boundary Boss: The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen, and (Finally) Live Free

Ross Rosenberg Why did I love this book?

This book, written by fellow psychotherapist Terri Cole, is a valuable resource for those struggling to set boundaries in their relationships. Whether it be a romantic partner, friend, or colleague, Terri delivers very practical information that will help the reader develop skills to stop abandoning yourself for the sake of others. This book will help the reader understand why they feel powerless to set boundaries—while helping them gain the strength and confidence to do so. As a psychotherapist specializing in codependency, although aimed towards women, this book is an effective resource for anyone who struggles with setting boundaries.

By Terri Cole,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Boundary Boss as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Psychotherapist Terri Cole teaches a simple but powerful truth: without healthy boundaries, you can't live an authentic and fulfilled life. After all, if you're always smiling and saying "yes" to everything, how is anyone else supposed to know you're burnt out, overloaded, and not up to taking on yet another task?

This is especially true for today's women, who are often caught between cultural conditioning toward being "nice" and the need to protect their own well-being. With that in mind, Cole presents Boundary Boss, a comprehensive guide for any woman who wants to master creating and maintaining healthy boundaries.

In…


Book cover of The Road Back to Me: Healing and Recovering From Co-dependency, Addiction, Enabling, and Low Self Esteem.

Ross Rosenberg Why did I love this book?

This book, written by life coach Lisa A. Romano, tells the story of a woman who has suffered childhood trauma, loneliness, and low self-esteem but eventually reaches a turning point where she heals from the faulty programming of her childhood that allows her to experience a healthy marriage. This book is a valuable resource for readers who may feel imprisoned by their unfortunate childhood. From codependency to narcissistic abuse, The Road Back to Me is an important resource for those seeking hope and inspiration to heal from their troubled past. This book features a well-written, descriptive, and inspirational story.

By Lisa A. Romano,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked The Road Back to Me as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

I was in my early thirties when I was told by a therapist that I was codependent and that my codependency was the result of being raised by two unrecovered adult children of alcoholics. At the time I was suffering from panic disorder, clinical depression, adult onset asthma and various other heath issues. Fearing I might die from some chronic disease, I enlisted the help of a therapist to help me sort out what might be the cause of all of my unease. When my therapist told me that all of my problems were related to being codependent I was…


Book cover of Healing Your Lost Inner Child Companion Workbook: Inspired Exercises to Heal Your Codependent Relationships

Ross Rosenberg Why did I love this book?

This book, written by my friend and fellow psychotherapist Robert Jackman, helps readers explore unresolved wounds from their childhood. Robert describes his own past, and his journey to assist readers with developing a deeper understanding of their relationships and codependency patterns. As many people are not aware of the unresolved emotional pain that they may carry, this book is a very valuable resource as it explains why childhood trauma may be the root cause of their feelings of depression, anxiety, and other negative emotions. A truly valuable book written by Robert’s own experience healing his lost inner child.

By Robert Jackman,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Healing Your Lost Inner Child Companion Workbook as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

As you discovered through reading Healing Your Lost Inner Child, until we do our work to examine, understand and heal our wounded inner child, this part will continue to show up in our lives. In Healing Your Lost Inner Child Companion Workbook, Psychotherapist and author Robert Jackman builds on the extensive material in the book with expanded exercises to help you better understand your inner child, yourself and your wisdom so that you feel authentic and complete.

This workbook features additional stories, examples and new concepts. You can read the Companion Workbook independently, but you will receive a deeper level…


Book cover of Healing Your Wounded Relationship: How to Break Free of Codependent Patterns and Restore Your Loving Partnership

Ross Rosenberg Why did I love this book?

This is Robert Jackman’s second book, which explains why unresolved inner child wounding contributes to codependency patterns in relationships. This book helps the reader develop a deeper understanding of codependency, which, as a result, helps them identify the unresolved trauma that contributes to it. This book is a useful resource to help the reader answer questions as to why they feel their relationship has gone off-track, and why they may struggle with communication. This book is recommended to those who are currently in a relationship or want to avoid falling into the same pattern in their next relationship.

By Robert Jackman,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Healing Your Wounded Relationship as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Many people struggle at times with a challenging relationship or marriage and ask themselves how things got so screwed up. They wonder what they're doing wrong and why they keep making bad choices in who they date or partner with. Trying to fix these problems using outdated communication tools rarely works, so many give up, feeling lost, defeated and resentful.

This book helps you see how your unresolved inner child wounding keeps showing up, attracting and meshing with another’s codependent parts in a wounded dance—like a moth to a flame. Once you read this book, you will begin to see…


Book cover of Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

Ross Rosenberg Why did I love this book?

This book, by Melody Beattie, although written in 1992, still contains valuable information that applies to modern-day society and relationships. This book helps readers develop a deeper understanding of codependency and allows them to stop controlling others and start caring for themselves. From maintaining healthy boundaries to standing up for oneself and saying no to unhealthy relationships, this book is an important resource for those seeking a lifetime of hope and happiness while putting an end to the toxic pattern of unhealthy relationships. A highly recommended book by many mental-health experts worldwide.

By Melody Beattie,

Why should I read it?

3 authors picked Codependent No More as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Is someone else's problem your problem? If, like so many others, you've lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to someone else's, you may be codependent--and you may find yourself in this book.

The healing touchstone of millions, this modern classic by one of America's best-loved and most inspirational authors holds the key to understanding codependency and to unlocking its stultifying hold on your life.

With instructive life stories, personal reflections, exercises, and self-tests, Codependent No More is a simple, straightforward, readable map of the perplexing world of codependency--charting the path to freedom and a lifetime…


You might also like...

Return to Hope Creek

By Alyssa J. Montgomery,

Book cover of Return to Hope Creek

Alyssa J. Montgomery Author Of A Spanish Seduction

New book alert!

Why am I passionate about this?

I’m an Australian USA Today bestselling romance author who writes contemporary romance and uses the pen name Alyssa James to write medieval romance. I think the makeover trope resonates with me because although I’m no beauty queen now, I was definitely an ugly duckling in my teens. For reasons best known to him, my father insisted on close-cropped hair, and financial circumstances dictated out-of-style hand-me-down clothing. After university, I found my own style, but it wasn’t until I was accepted as an international flight attendant that I believed that I couldn’t be all that ugly if Qantas employed me!

Alyssa's book list on makeover romances

What is my book about?

Return to Hope Creek is a second-chance rural romance set in Australia.

Stella Simpson's career and engagement are over. She returns to the rural community of Hope Creek to heal, unaware her high school and college sweetheart, Mitchell Scott, has also moved back to town to do some healing of his own.

Mitchell, a former NFL quarterback, doesn't need the complication of encountering Stella again so long after the messy end to their relationship, but as each tries to build a new life, they are drawn together and find their chemistry is just as strong as ever.

Will their love…

Return to Hope Creek

By Alyssa J. Montgomery,

What is this book about?

When two old flames come back to their home town, sparks are bound to ignite. A rural romance from USA Today bestselling author Alyssa J. Montgomery.


A horrific car accident ended former world number-one Stella Simpson’s tennis career, and a betrayal ended her relationship with her fiancé/coach. When a family friend offers to sell her half of a property in the rural community where she grew up, it seems like the perfect place to escape, heal and begin the next phase of her life. Until she discovers that the man who broke her heart ten years ago has bought the…


5 book lists we think you will like!

Interested in codependency, childhood trauma, and self-actualization?

11,000+ authors have recommended their favorite books and what they love about them. Browse their picks for the best books about codependency, childhood trauma, and self-actualization.

Codependency Explore 12 books about codependency
Childhood Trauma Explore 13 books about childhood trauma
Self-Actualization Explore 211 books about self-actualization